Kris Rants: Movie theaters are actually the worst

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Movie theaters, there isn’t a single person on this planet that hasn’t been to a movie theater. We all tend to have pleasant memories of going to the movies with our friends, family, or taking someone on a date. Most people tend to think movie theaters are a great place to go when you want to relax and see a movie you’re interested in. I used to love movie theaters and bugged my parents about going when there was a movie I wanted to see. But since I am older and wiser, I now know that movie theaters suck. Now I know this is a controversial and unpopular opinion, but hear me out; out of any movie theater that you’ve been to, can you tell me they’ve always been clean? Especially the bathrooms. They don’t mop the theater floors at all, which makes them super sticky because of the sodas and drinks that get spilled on a daily occasion. The custodians just take a big push broom and sweep up all the popcorn, cups, and candy boxes off the floor, but they can’t go that extra step and mop the floor, that just screams lazy to me. The bathrooms are just absolutely disgusting; they’re worse than a middle school boys’ bathroom. One time I found stains of… human waste, on the urinals. That’s not even where you’re supposed to do that. The sad part is that’s not the nastiest thing I’ve seen; I once saw maggots in the bowl of the toilet. How on God’s sweet green Earth does that happen? It’s so disgusting it makes my skin crawl just writing about it now.
Now to address the elephant in the room: when most people think of movie theaters they think of, well, movies. But when I think of them, I think of how expensive they are. The ticket prices themselves aren’t bad at all; I mean they’re only about ten dollars. But the snacks, on the other hand, are so expensive for no reason. I shouldn’t have to pay $30 for a large bucket of popcorn when for less than half that price I can get 34 bags of microwave popcorn in a box. And the nachos? You seriously pay about ten bucks for 15 chips and a cup of artificial cheese? That’s just a travesty. The same goes for the mini soft pretzels: not only do they come in a small quantity, but they are also so oversalted. Seriously calm down on the salt; I’m not trying to get high blood pressure at only 16. Honestly, whoever came up with the prices and the portion sizes of these snacks deserves jail time; it’s so obviously a scam because you can’t even bring in your snacks from outside the theater.
Another thing that makes the movie theater experience a total sham is the hordes of people; if you want to see a movie that most people are practically itching to see, don’t bother going until about a week after because you either won’t get a ticket, or you have to deal with those hordes of people that come into the theater, and most of them think of the genius idea of coming in with their kids. Whenever I hear anyone make some kind of loud noise when I’m in a movie theater I just want to walk up to them and punch them in their face. And even though people are told to silence their phones and turn their brightness down on their phones during the movie, do they listen? No, because people can be very inconsiderate and rude. And the loud teenagers that come into the theater just to get a reaction, or the crying babies brought into the theater just makes me incredibly angry. Or getting kicked in the back of those seats by some annoying brat is just infuriating. Another thing is when families argue about seats that are pre-registered, it honestly does not matter in the slightest, you’re just causing unnecessary drama. I’m just here to watch a movie, relax, and go home. I don’t want to be annoyed by any of these things.
Something else that I don’t like about movie theaters is that they show 20-minute previews of movies that I did not intend to see when I walked into the theater. I’m just here to watch a movie; if I want to see movie trailers, I’ll just watch them on YouTube at home. Speaking of home, you wouldn’t have to deal with any of these inconveniences if you decide to watch that same movie at home. You might say that the viewing experience isn’t the same, but I say that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The screen projector that movie theaters use is curved most of the time, and I hate that. It puts a strain on my already damaged eyes, and they don’t have to be like this. Why would I go through all the hassle I stated beforehand when I could just turn on the same movie at home, and if I need to go to the bathroom, I can just pause the movie. That’s so convenient, and even if I forget to pause the movie, I can still rewind it after I’m done.
I interviewed three people on this subject, their names are Sofia Farashian, Sklyer Gaines, and Jose Quintanilla and there responses are as follows:

When was the last time you went to the movies?
“Last time I went was in 2019 to see Avengers Endgame.” – Skyler
“I went about three weeks ago to see Black Widow.” – Sofia
“Two weeks ago to see Shang-Chi.” – Jose

Was the experience pleasant?
“It was a good experience, but I could have been better and I wish the theater was cleaner.” – Skyler
“Overall it was pretty decent.” – Sofia
Jose answered, “I liked it, but I feel like it could have been better if I watched it at home.” – Jose

Overall did you enjoy going to the movies?
“The home experience is good but I think I like movie theaters better.” – Skyler
“Yes I do like theaters, but it could use some improvements.” – Sofia
“There are some good memories in theaters that I wouldn’t trade for home experience.” – Jose

Judging by these answers, it’s clear that my opinion is unpopular. Personally, I believe that people only defend movie theaters because they are blinded by the nostalgia of going to theaters. In about five to ten years, movie theaters are probably going to be dead since streaming platforms are on the rise, and I welcome that change with open arms.